My Voice

I am hoping to share my voice with you, to be who I am meant to be.

It has been 31 days since my sweet husband lost his 14 month battle with cancer.  We kept it quiet as much as possible.  It’s what he wanted.  He wanted people to remember him how he was when he was healthy, not how he was at the end.  At first I was angry with everyone, God and even Richard for getting sick.  I cried, what about me, what about my life.  How selfish am I?  For better or worse, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part.

Thus began my spiritual journey.  I gave it up to God, the Divine, put it in his hands.  One night I had a powerful vision, I won’t call it a dream, as it was not a dream.  My DOD (dear ole dad) came to me and took me on a walk, down a narrow path which I was afraid to take.  I told him, no, there is nothing ahead, just darkness, an abyss.  My dad told me to hold his hand and to have faith.  As we walked, the path became a little wider, it was still very wobbly, the path was made of rocks, some large, some small, I had to be careful with my footing.  We continued on for what seemed like forever.  My dad then told me to look up as I had been looking down watching my footing, not wanting to look to the side as there was nothing by darkness.  NO!  I’m afraid.  Look, Marshy, look up.  I did. I saw a bright white light, I felt hope.  My heart was filled with such joy.  The darkness was gone.  My dad said to me, you are going to be fine.

My journey of healing myself and caring for Richard began, unconditionally, with love and support until the very end.  I prayed for a peaceful release.  He fell asleep in his recliner watching football.

Once again I am reaching out and giving it up to God, the Divine, to guide me on my new chapter in my life.  Life has changed for me, my address will change, I will change.

When Richard was first diagnosed he told me, I need you to be STRONG.  This is my mantra for the coming year, my 2nd renaissance is beginning, BE STRONG.

Timing is everything.  Janet Conner’s 30-day Soul Program began this month.  I was blessed to be one of the scholarship recipients.  The program is called The Lotus and the Lily “access the Wisdom of Buddha and Jesus to Nourish Your Beautiful, Abundant Life”.

I met Janet in an online retreat.  She is infectious.  This is my second course with her.  If you are wanting more in your life, to find your purpose, reconnect to your inner self, walk with me on my journey with The Lotus and the Lily.  I’d love to walk with you on yours.

We started week one.  Week two starts Monday.  There is still time to join in!



One Comment Add yours

  1. lbaker57 says:

    Beautiful story. Janet has changed my life as well. She is picking up all the dropped stitches, connecting all the pieces that were dangling… everything is coming together. I appreciate her a great deal. I feel close to her tribe, as well. People like you.


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