Do You SEE Me?!

Raven closed her eyes and followed the crow’s soothing voice.  She found herself in a very small room.  She kept trying to get out but her captor kept pulling her back in.  Raven tried numerous times to become free but found herself back in the confined space. Face your fear, cried the crow, face your fear!!!  As Raven was being pushed back into the room she stood her ground and yelled, NO, I will no longer be under your control.  Unexpectedly, her younger sister appeared, stood between Raven and her captor and in a gentle voice said, “Here, Raven, I am opening up the door so you can come and go as you please.”  When Raven stepped through the portal she was amazed at what she saw, such a beautiful large space, filled with love and light.

I wrote that a couple of years ago for my Storyteller project. It’s been awhile since I worked on it.  

Recently, something came up with a family issue and in discussing it with that my sister she said, “I’m very sorry that you continue to feel unprotected by this family.”

With that one statement she opened the PORTAL!!!!

UNPROTECTED.  Boy that really hit me to the core.  The hurt is so deep. I have felt this way since childhood, starting at around age 7.  Unprotected, unseen, unheard.

Age 7 was a pivotal time in my life, the things that happened subsequently shaped me into the person I am today.  For the last 3 years I have been peeling and peeling and peeling back the onion to heal these wounds, to open up my heart.  It opened up briefly during my husband’s illness, for the first time in my life I was able to love unconditionally, but since his passing, that opening has started to close again.  

I honestly don’t know that I can open it.  Ironically what has kept it closed has become my protector.  Am I strong enough to become my own protector?  To stand in my power and say NO and to have a powerful enough voice to say, hey, do you SEE me?!?!?!?  Do you HEAR me?!?!?!?!?

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