Fearlessness

Today I pulled this card from The Illustrated Herbiary deck. My first thought was, so beautiful, a spiral (I think I’ve mentioned before I have a thing for spirals!). I then realized it was a labyrinth, the herb Thyme. Ha, somehow that made me chuckle, thyme/time/New Year’s Eve, another year upon us.

This is what I wrote in my morning pages immediately upon seeing the card and the words “Distill Your Life”. Di-still? I can’t get any more “quieter” but I was thinking quieter as boring, not active, couch potato, hello, COVID. As I looked closer at the labyrinth, there are no options to take a different path, it’s already laid out. Makes me wonder, would this have been the best way to have lived my life/purpose, following the path that was destined for me when I was born, no detours, no obstacles, no fears. Would I be any closer to the center? When I reach(ed) the center would I be happy? Life is all about choices, some good, some not so good. I’ve made some doozies, as I know all of us have! Would I change anything? A few, one major one I can think of, insisting Richard get a colonoscopy the minute he turned 50. No ifs, ands or butts (ha ha, the fact that I can say this with humor shows me I have healed some).

No going back, no do-overs, no escape key. What is done is done. So what steps can I take today to get me moving, back on the path, my original path. The other day in my morning pages I wrote down the word FEARLESSNESS. I used to be somewhat of a risk taker in my youth. I think as we age we lose some of that, it’s natural, I’m not about to go bungee cord jumping, BUT I need a little adventure in my life, the fear that holds me back is having to do things on my own, like renting a cottage by the beach, one of our favorite places to go. Getting in my car and going for a Sunday drive. What if it I have car trouble? Ah, you have road service. What if I get lost? Ah, you have GPS and a cell phone. What if, what if, what if.

So this thought led me to my next thought, okay, so if my word for 2021 is FEARLESSNESS, what do I want to do? I do not have a bucket list, I don’t have any dreams. I can’t remember when I stopped dreaming. I instantly thought, what’s the point, if I make a list I will see it as a MUST do, and what if I CAN’T for whatever reason, and dreaming, what’s the point. STOP the monkey chatter. Have fun with it!!! Be outrageous! Make your list! Mix them all up, outrageous, simple, it’s just a freaking list!!!

So I am making my list!! Baby steps!!! Ah, you expected me to share it with you, LOL. Okay. Here’s some that are possible . . . . . some maybe not . . . . . .

  1. Go back to Portugal and Spain
  2. Japan
  3. Sleep in a tent in the Sahara Desert (a friend did that a couple of years ago and it looked AMAZING!)
  4. Travel through Europe on a train (I watch too many Hallmark romance movies lol)
  5. Get another tattoo or expand on current one
  6. Manifesting a BEST FRIEND (human lol)

It’s a start!!

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