This was in my mailbox this morning. Ha ha, the Universe does have a sense of humor!
Last Tuesday in my writer’s group we were asked to make a list of things that bring us joy! This is what I wrote.
The thing is, I don’t know what brings me joy.
Have I shut down so much that I no longer feel joy? Have I closed myself off to life? I keep myself busy during the day with artistic endeavors, chatting with the neighbors, doing everyday tasks, laundry, grocery shopping, making the bed, taking out the garbage. I approach my artistic endeavors with the same enthusiasm, or lack thereof, as taking out the garbage. No feeling one way or the other. I have become a very dull person, no flavor, just like plain yogurt.
When did this come to pass? When did I lose my enthusiasm for life? I remember even on my wedding day, one of the most joyous days of my life, yes, I was happy but I didn’t feel that “I’m too excited to sleep” kind of happiness.
Am I a martyr? I can feel sorrow, pain, hurt, anguish, despair easily and deeply. Why can’t I feel joy, happiness, excitement.
Have I always been this way? Somewhere in my life I lost the spark, or maybe I wasn’t born with it.
Ha, well, I suppose I have an answer as to what I am to do with the rest of my life, I am on a quest to FEEL joy! I am a creative soul. As luck would have it the #100dayproject started on January 31st and I signed up. My project is to spend a minimum of 30 minutes in my art room. I have lots of unfinished projects and several courses I have signed up for and never started. I am approaching each day in my art room with childlike wonder. I am going to tap into how I feel when I am creating. Today was Day 6! If you’d like to see what I am creating follow me on Instagram, Tatteredchick!