Monkey Mind

No more monkeys jumping on the bed SHOULD be, please, no more monkeys chatting in my head!!!

 Last night, I journaled, not because I felt the need to, but because of the 100-day project, my project a minimum of 30 minutes every day in my art room.

I didn’t feel like painting yesterday at all, it happens. It was also such a beautiful day, too nice to be inside all day, so I decided to spend some time outside. I reported some plants, pulled some weeds, sat outside on a blanket with Sophie, putzed around the backyard.  

Before I knew it, it was evening, dinnertime for Sophie and me, nothing on TV, didn’t feel like reading, looked up at the clock, 7:30 p.m. I still had not spent any time in my art room. Yesterday was day 54! I could not break the streak, my commitment!!!  

I head into my art room. I forgot to mention that I had noticed that I was feeling agitated, couldn’t shake it. Did the breathing thing, calling back my power and energy that I had given away, still agitated. Ah, get it out on paper, good journal prompt, what am I agitated, angry about?  

First thing that pops into my head, my lawn. Female doggie urine, not so great for a lawn. The bark needs to either be replaced or do something different, so where will that money come from. Last year I had the idea to create a moon garden, that didn’t happen, and the space is looking a little bare and ugly. Criticism. Of what, who? Myself. Why? Because of these imperfections? So this reflects on me how? Where does this come from?  

The monkey mind trail leads to Sophie and her declining mobility issue. It’s at the point where I need to help her walk around the house. I feel bad for her. She doesn’t deserve this. She’s a good girl. She doesn’t seem to be too bothered by her infirmity. She is still playful, although she can’t play like she used to, still has an appetite, always begging for treats, barking at passersby.  

Monkey trail. Am I talking about her or me? I am angry at my inability to “fix” her. My lawn I can fix, her I can’t. There is nothing that can be done, no cure, just like there was no cure for Richard. Terminal. Is there a lesson here?   

The monkeys were really swinging furiously from branch to branch. Time to stop scribbling and start throwing down some paint. I worked on a page that already had some paint on it, pink and blue, too cheerful, let’s throw down some red paint, let’s see what evolves. This face, the word broken. When I was “done”, the red was too strong so I lightened it up a bit. Done! I felt somewhat better AND I got my time in my art studio.

Apparently, I still had some processing to do. The monkey mind started up again, this time while I was sleeping!!! I was in a spaceship, ha ha ha, that is a first, with an unknown person. I think it was the person who runs or owns the spaceship. That’s the feeling I got. How I got into the spaceship, I think I was running away from something and trying to find a “safe” place. The spaceship started to float. A moment of panic, but it passed UNTIl a man (a third person) in a spacesuit rose up out of nowhere. What an imagination these monkeys, have!! (Hmmmm, or is it mine?!?! Another time, another post!)

He took his helmet off. His face was distorted with anger. It was frightening. The other person gave the angry man a shot. It knocked him out temporarily. When he came to, he was calmer, nicer. I knew it was only temporary.

And then I woke up.

I am thinking the angry man is me. The shot? Not sure what that is about, probably all the talk about the vaccine. Now, the spaceship was intriguing! My initial reaction is it has something to do with my spiritual journey, processing what is going on currently in my life. I forgot to mention that before I fell asleep, I had a very angry one-way conversation with the Universe. Apparently, the Universe decided to answer me in my dream . . . . 

Spaceship dream represents navigation into unknown territory. Choosing or preparing to do things you’ve never done before. New experiences or new struggles that you can’t predict an outcome for. You might feel that a life situation is a bit weird or chaotic. Spaceships in dreams represent a spiritual journey or the mystery of the unknown. If you had a dream in which you were floating in space, it means that there will be a lot of difficulties on your way, but you will have success. Remember that you are capable of doing whatever you want, so you should not have any fears.”

Thankfully the monkey chatter has calmed down! I am thankful for this day. I am thankful the sun is shining. I am thankful to hear Sophie’s soft snoring. I am thankful for the 100-day project!

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